Wednesday, 30 September 2015
Understanding Ovulation
Understanding Ovulation
Image of woman taking an ovulation test
What is Ovulation?
Ovulation is when a mature egg is released from the ovary, pushed down the fallopian tube, and is available to be fertilized. Approximately every month an egg will mature within one of your ovaries. As it reaches maturity, the egg is released by the ovary where it enters the fallopian tube to make its way towards waiting sperm and the uterus.
The lining of the uterus has thickened to prepare for the fertilized egg. If no conception occurs, the uterine lining, as well as blood, will be shed. The shedding of an unfertilized egg and the uterine wall is the time of menstruation.
If you are trying to get pregnant, you should get a copy of the Essential Guide for Getting Pregnant. This ebook is filled with the most up to date resources, information and tips you need to get pregnant. There are also a variety of effective and affordable ovulation prediction tools available online.
Key Facts of Ovulation:
•An egg lives 12-24 hours, after leaving the ovary
•Normally only one egg is released each time of ovulation
•Ovulation can be affected by stress, illness or disruption of normal routines
•Some women may experience some light blood or spotting during ovulation
•Implantation of a fertilized egg normally takes place 6-12 days after ovulation
•Each woman is born with millions of immature eggs that are awaiting ovulation to begin
•A menstrual period can occur even if ovulation has not occurred
•Ovulation can occur even if a menstrual period has not occurred
•Some women can feel a bit of pain or aching near the ovaries during ovulation called mittelschmerz, which means “middle pain” in German
•If an egg is not fertilized, it disintegrates and is absorbed into the uterine lining
Free Forum to discuss ovulation and other things
Tracking Ovulation:
A woman’s monthly cycle is measured from the first day of her menstrual period until the first day of her next period. On average, a woman’s cycle normally is between 28-32 days, but some women may have much shorter or much longer cycles.
Ovulation can be calculated by starting with the first day of the last menstrual period (LMP) or by calculating 12-16 days from the next expected period. Most women ovulate anywhere between Day 11 – Day 21 of their cycle, counting from the first day of the LMP.
This is what many refer to as the “fertile time” of a woman’s cycle, because sexual intercourse during this time increases the chance of pregnancy. Ovulation can occur at various times during a cycle, and may occur on a different day each month. It is important to track your cycle and fortunately there are a number of free fertility charting tools available to help women identify their peak fertile days.
The Ovulation Cycle Divided into Two Parts:
The first part of the ovulation cycle is called the follicular phase. This phase starts the first day of the last menstrual period (LMP) and continues until ovulation. This first half of the cycle can differ greatly for each woman lasting anywhere from 7 days until 40 days.
The second half of the cycle is called the luteal phase and is from the day of ovulation until the next period begins. The luteal phase has a more precise timeline and usually is only 12-16 days from the day of ovulation. This ultimately means that the day of ovulation will determine how long your cycle is.
This also means that outside factors like stress, illness, and disruption of normal routine can throw off your ovulation which then results in changing the time your period will come.
So the old thought that stress can affect your period is only partly true. Stress can affect your ovulation which ultimately determines when your period will come, but stress around the time of an expected period will not make it late—it was already determined when it would come 12-16 days earlier!
Fertility Awareness is one way to track when ovulation occurs, and it includes studying the changes in cervical mucus and using a basal thermometer. Cervical fluid will change to a wet, slippery substance that resembles “egg whites” just before ovulation occurs and until ovulation is over. A basal thermometer helps track a body temperature rise, which signals that ovulation has just occurred.
Another way to track ovulation is through ovulation kits and fertility monitors. These can be Purchased Online safely and affordably. Tracking ovulation can help a woman get a better idea of when pregnancy can and cannot occur during her monthly cycle.
Once ovulation has occurred, there is nothing you can do to increase your chances of pregnancy. Your next step is to begin watching for early pregnancy symptoms. View and print an Ovulation Calendar to better understand your menstruation cycle and ovulation.
From the Menstrual Period to Ovulation (the details you may not know!)
When your menstrual cycle begins, your estrogen levels are low. Your hypothalamus (which is in charge of maintaining your hormone levels) sends out a message to your pituitary gland which then sends out the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). This FSH triggers a few of your follicles to develop into mature eggs. One of these will develop into the dominant follicle, which will release a mature egg and the others will disintegrate.
As the follicles mature they send out another hormone, estrogen. The high levels of estrogen will tell the hypothalamus and pituitary gland that there is a mature egg. A luteinizing hormone (LH) is then released, referred to as your LH surge. The LH surge causes the egg to burst through the ovary wall within 24-36 hours and begin its journey down the fallopian tube for fertilization. Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs) work by detecting this LH surge.
The follicle from which the egg was released is called the corpus luteum, and it will release progesterone that helps thicken and prepare the uterine lining for implantation. The corpus luteum will produce progesterone for about 12-16 days (the luteal phase of your cycle.) If an egg is fertilized, the corpus luteum will continue to produce progesterone for a developing pregnancy until the placenta takes over.
You can begin looking for pregnancy symptoms as early as a week after fertilization. You can also begin testing for pregnancy as early as 7-10 days past your ovulation date with an Early Detection Pregnancy Test.
If fertilization does not occur the egg dissolves after 24 hours. At this time your hormone levels will decrease and your uterine lining will begin to shed about 12-16 days from ovulation. This is menstruation (menstrual period) and brings us back to day 1 of your cycle. The journey then begins all over again.
The time of ovulation is one of the most important things a woman should understand about her body, since it is the determining factor in getting pregnant and preventing pregnancy. The process can be confusing and somewhat overwhelming when trying to understand.
The Association recommends using an ovulation kit or fertility monitor to maximize your chances and to confirm when your ovulation is occurring. There are many frequently asked questions about the ovulation process, and the Association has attempted to address those for you.
If you still have further questions regarding ovulation, we encourage you to either talk with your healthcare provider or contact the American Pregnancy Association for more information.
Being informed on what your body does can help you feel more in charge of your health. If you need assistance in tracking ovulation, you can order ovulation kits or ovulation monitors online here: Order an ovulation kit now
Dad’s Heartfelt Message About Son Born With Missing Skull
Dad’s Heartfelt Message About Son Born With Missing Skull
September 28, 2015
In
almost every way, Jaxon Buell (above, in his father’s arms) is a
typical 13-month-old. He says “mama” and “dada,” wakes up smiling and
excited to start the day, and is starting to deal with the discomfort of
teething.
But something does set Jaxon, who lives in Florida, apart from other toddlers.
Jaxon Strong, as his mom and dad call him — a nod to this little guy’s resilience and courage — was born with a form of anencephaly, a rare neurological condition that means he is missing part of his brain and skull.
Jaxon Strong, as his mom and dad call him — a nod to this little guy’s resilience and courage — was born with a form of anencephaly, a rare neurological condition that means he is missing part of his brain and skull.
Jaxon’s father, Brandon Buell, took to Facebook on
Monday to respond to some critical comments his son’s story received
after it was widely shared on social media. “All we ever wanted was to
give Jaxon the happiest, most comfortable, and most fulfilling life
possible, because we know how precious his days are with us,” he wrote.
About 1 in 4,859
infants are born with anencephaly every year, and most die shortly
before birth. How the condition manifests varies. Jaxon has a brain
stem, which controls motor functioning, but he lacks a cerebral cortex, the “gray matter” of the brain that controls thought.
Even
so, Jaxon has surprised doctors by thriving and reaching the 13-month
mark, which makes his adoring, devoted parents extremely grateful.
Jaxon
and his mom, Brittany, just after his birth in August 2014. This brave,
blue-eyed boy has been defying the odds ever since. (Photo: Facebook)
Some
called Brandon and his wife, Brittany Buell, “selfish” and said they
should have aborted Jaxon when an ultrasound Brittany had during her
17th week of pregnancy revealed his condition.
“It’s
baffling to hear or see other people’s opinions on our baby that have
never met him, that somehow know how he thinks, how he acts, how he
feels, how much of what he does is voluntary or involuntary, how he is
always in pain, and that we are selfish parents for not choosing to have
an abortion, and for having a Facebook and a Go Fund Me page for him,” wrote Brandon.
The
GoFundMe page was set up by a former colleague of Brandon’s to help the
Buells with medical expenses, explained Brandon, as well to allow
Brittany to stay home with Jaxon, who does best when he’s cared for by
his mom.
Taking
care of his son can be tricky. Though medication has eased some of
Jaxon’s issues, wrote Brandon, his condition causes him to have regular
seizures and requires him to be fed through a stomach tube. But his
parents make it clear that he is “still developing, still learning,
still thriving.”
“When
we first learned there were concerns for Jax during the pregnancy, we
were given the options of carrying him to term or having an abortion
because there was the unknown issue,” wrote Brandon.
“Had
there been any suffering in the womb or a danger involved other than
Jaxon possibly not being able to live outside the womb because of the
concern for his head and brain, then we certainly would have had a
different discussion,” continued Brandon.
“Truthfully,
I will never understand how choosing to carry Jaxon and give him a
chance to survive could ever be considered ‘selfish,’” he added.
The
Buells’ Facebook post struck a chord, generating supportive feedback
from strangers touched by Brandon and Brittany’s devotion and parents of
special-needs kids who know what the Buells are going through.
And
while the Buells don’t know what the future holds for their son and are
used to the “looks, the stares, the glances” from people who are
startled by Jaxon’s unusual appearance, they are overjoyed to have Jaxon
in their lives. As Brandon wrote, “Yes, ‘selfishly,’ we love him and
never want to lose him.”
14-Year-Old Son Charged With Murdering His Pregnant Mother at Their Home
Investigators believe the teen acted alone when he murdered his 33-year-old mom at her Texas home, said La Marque Police Chief Kirk Jackson. A neighbor said she was four months pregnant.
Her body was found on Saturday. Her son was found in Houston the following day, along with a car from the family's home. He was charged with a juvenile count of murder, cops said.
"There's no indication that there was anybody involved in this," said Jackson, according to The Associated Press.
Police haven't released a possible motive. Details of the mom's death haven't been made public but an autopsy was scheduled for Tuesday, Jackson said.
The mother has been identified as Nita Moseley, according to KHOU. "She did any and everything for her son," said a neighbor. "They got along great. Her son was a good student."
The teenager's father also defended him to local reporters, calling him "a good kid who was dealt a bad deck of cards."
The unidentified man told KPRC: "This is a story that will let people know that families need to stick together. When they don't, this is the kind of thing that takes place."
While a Child Protective Services spokeswoman declined to comment on the teen's history, court documents indicate the mom had a legal dispute over custody of a son, amid "a history or pattern of child neglect," according to the Houston Chronicle.
CPS had taken custody of the child at one point, though the documents couldn't be tied to the 14-year-old teen.
Police said they hadn't
previously received any disturbance calls from the residence. "They had
just moved to this house not too long ago. We don't have any prior
history at that house," Jackson said.
Watch Below: Woman in Labor Begs Cops Not to Arrest Husband Who Was Speeding to Hospital
By Suzanne Rozdeba
11 hours ago
Only woman on Georgia's death row is executed
Kelly Gissendaner, 47, sobbed as she said she loved her children and apologized to Douglas Gissendaner's family, saying she hopes they can find some peace and happiness. She also addressed her lawyer, Susan Casey, who was among the witnesses.
"I just want to say God bless you all and I love you, Susan. You let my kids know I went out singing 'Amazing Grace,'" Gissendaner said.
Prison Warden Bruce Chatman left the execution chamber at 12:11 a.m. Records from previous executions indicate that the lethal drug is administered within about a minute of the warden leaving the room.
Gissendaner sang "Amazing Grace" and also appeared to sing another song before taking several deep breaths and then becoming still.
More than 100 people gathered in rainy conditions outside the prison to support Gissendaner. Among them was Rev. Della Bacote, who said she is a chaplain at Saint Thomas Hospital in Nashville and who spent several hours with Gissendaner on Tuesday afternoon, talking and praying.
"She was at peace with whatever was to come," Bacote said.
Gissendaner's three children visited with her Monday but weren't able to see her Tuesday because they were testifying before the Georgia Board of Pardons and Paroles, Bacote said. The parole board is the only entity authorized to commute a death sentence in Georgia.
"Kelly embraced that the children were going to talk to the Board of Pardons and Paroles," Bacote said, adding that Gissendaner was able to speak to her children by phone Tuesday.
Two of Gissendaner's three children had previously addressed the board and also put out a video earlier this month pleading for their mother's life and talking about their own difficult path to forgiveness. Her oldest son had not previously addressed the board.
Various courts, including the U.S. Supreme Court denied multiple last-ditch efforts to stop her execution Tuesday, and the parole board stood by its February decision to deny clemency. The board didn't give a reason for the denial, but said it had carefully considered her request for reconsideration.
Gissendaner was previously scheduled for execution Feb. 25, but that was delayed because of a threat of winter weather. Her execution was reset for March 2, but corrections officials postponed that execution "out of an abundance of caution" because the execution drug appeared "cloudy."
Pope Francis' diplomatic representative in the U.S., Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano, on Tuesday sent a letter to the parole board on behalf of the pontiff asking for a commutation of Gissendaner's sentence "to one that would better express both justice and mercy." He cited an address the pope made to a joint session of Congress last week in which he called for the abolition of the death penalty.
Gissendaner's lawyers submitted a statement from former Georgia Supreme Court Chief Justice Norman Fletcher to the parole board. Fletcher argued Gissendaner's death sentence was not proportionate to her role in the crime. Her lover, Gregory Owen, who did the killing, is serving a life prison sentence and will become eligible for parole in 2022. He also noted that Georgia hadn't executed a person who didn't actually carry out a killing since the U.S. Supreme Court reinstated the death penalty in 1976.
Gissendaner's lawyers also said she was a seriously damaged woman who has undergone a spiritual transformation in prison and has been a model prisoner who has shown remorse and provided hope to other inmates in their personal struggles. They gave the parole board testimonials from several women who were locked up as teens and who said Gissendaner counseled them through moments when they felt scared, lost or on the verge of giving up hope.
Douglas Gissendaner's family said in a statement Monday that he is the victim and that Kelly Gissendaner received an appropriate sentence.
"As the murderer, she's been given more rights and opportunity over the last 18 years than she ever afforded to Doug who, again, is the victim here," the statement says. "She had no mercy, gave him no rights, no choices, nor the opportunity to live his life."
Kelly Gissendaner repeatedly pushed Owen in late 1996 to kill her husband rather than just divorcing him as Owen suggested, prosecutors have said. Acting on her instructions, Owen ambushed Douglas Gissendaner at Gissendaner's home, forced him to drive to a remote area and stabbed him multiple times, prosecutors said.
Investigators
looking into the killing zeroed in on Owen once they learned of his
affair with Kelly Gissendaner. He initially denied involvement but
eventually confessed and implicated Kelly Gissendaner.
Tuesday, 29 September 2015
61 year old Guard Rape 2 Sisters, 11& 10, for several weeks, gives them #200
61-Year-Old Guard Rapes 2 Sisters, Aged , 11 & 10, For Several Weeks, Gives Them N200
September 29th, 2015 by admin
The police in Lagos are on the trail of a security man, identified only as John, who allegedly raped two sisters for several weeks in the Anthony area of Lagos.
PUNCH Metro learnt that 61-year-old John reportedly gave the sisters, Comfort and Precious (not real names), the sum of N200 to appease them each time he raped the girls.
He was also said to have warned the 11-year-old and 10-year-old victims that he would kill them if they revealed the secrets to their mother.
It was gathered that the rape, which reportedly went on for several weeks, was later discovered on August 30, when the girls started to complain about back pain and headache.
Our correspondent learnt that the girls then opened up to their mother, who reported the matter at the Anthony Police Division.
When our correspondent visited Fidella Street, Aladura Estate, where the incident happened, it was learnt that John had not returned to his rented apartment since the day the incident was reported to the police.
Speaking with PUNCH Metro, the mother of the girls, Rosemary Peter, who hails from Kafanchan, Kaduna State, and works as a food seller, said John usually asked the girls to bring food to his workplace in a take-away pack during which he took advantage of the girls.
She added that she was not aware of the incident, until when her daughters began to complain about back pain and headache. She noted that she also observed that her daughters’ private parts were slack.
She said, “I work as a food seller. John was one of my customers. He would say I should send a take-away pack to him at his workplace by afternoon. So, when the girls returned from school, I would send the two of them to take the food to him. I did not suspect that he was raping them.
“When they took the food to him, he would take them to a place and rape both of them. After satisfying himself, he would give them N200, and warn them not to say anything at home. He would threaten that he would harm them if they spoke up.
“Eventually, the two of them started to complain about headache and back pain. I was worried. On one occasion, I happened to be where the 11-year-old was taking her bath, and I observed that her private parts were slack as an adult’s. I was shocked, and I urged her to tell me what went wrong.
“That was when she opened up that it was John who had been sleeping with her and her sister. I rushed to the police station to make a report, but news had got to John that the girls had let out the matter, and he fled the area on the same day.
“But the police have assured us that he would be arrested. They told us to alert them anytime we set our eyes on him.”
A resident in the area, who gave his name as Fatai Gafar, said the police should intensify efforts in arresting the suspect, adding that the girls had yet to receive any medical attention.
He said, “The whole estate is aware of the incident. It is very unfortunate. The security man does not live here with his family. He was the only person staying in the place he rented, and he has fled.”
The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Joe Offor, said he would get back to our correspondent on the incident.
He, however, had not got back as of press time.
September 29th, 2015 by admin
The police in Lagos are on the trail of a security man, identified only as John, who allegedly raped two sisters for several weeks in the Anthony area of Lagos.
PUNCH Metro learnt that 61-year-old John reportedly gave the sisters, Comfort and Precious (not real names), the sum of N200 to appease them each time he raped the girls.
He was also said to have warned the 11-year-old and 10-year-old victims that he would kill them if they revealed the secrets to their mother.
It was gathered that the rape, which reportedly went on for several weeks, was later discovered on August 30, when the girls started to complain about back pain and headache.
Our correspondent learnt that the girls then opened up to their mother, who reported the matter at the Anthony Police Division.
When our correspondent visited Fidella Street, Aladura Estate, where the incident happened, it was learnt that John had not returned to his rented apartment since the day the incident was reported to the police.
Speaking with PUNCH Metro, the mother of the girls, Rosemary Peter, who hails from Kafanchan, Kaduna State, and works as a food seller, said John usually asked the girls to bring food to his workplace in a take-away pack during which he took advantage of the girls.
She added that she was not aware of the incident, until when her daughters began to complain about back pain and headache. She noted that she also observed that her daughters’ private parts were slack.
She said, “I work as a food seller. John was one of my customers. He would say I should send a take-away pack to him at his workplace by afternoon. So, when the girls returned from school, I would send the two of them to take the food to him. I did not suspect that he was raping them.
“When they took the food to him, he would take them to a place and rape both of them. After satisfying himself, he would give them N200, and warn them not to say anything at home. He would threaten that he would harm them if they spoke up.
“Eventually, the two of them started to complain about headache and back pain. I was worried. On one occasion, I happened to be where the 11-year-old was taking her bath, and I observed that her private parts were slack as an adult’s. I was shocked, and I urged her to tell me what went wrong.
“That was when she opened up that it was John who had been sleeping with her and her sister. I rushed to the police station to make a report, but news had got to John that the girls had let out the matter, and he fled the area on the same day.
“But the police have assured us that he would be arrested. They told us to alert them anytime we set our eyes on him.”
A resident in the area, who gave his name as Fatai Gafar, said the police should intensify efforts in arresting the suspect, adding that the girls had yet to receive any medical attention.
He said, “The whole estate is aware of the incident. It is very unfortunate. The security man does not live here with his family. He was the only person staying in the place he rented, and he has fled.”
The Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Joe Offor, said he would get back to our correspondent on the incident.
He, however, had not got back as of press time.
Stomach Ulcers, Ulcer Diagnosis, Stomach Ulcer Symptoms?
:: Stomach Ulcers
Ulcer Diagnosis
Stomach Ulcer Symptoms?
We explain all the Signs &
Symptoms of Stomach Ulcers...
...and provide facts on most treatments.
If you have been diagnosed with stomach ulcers, or if you want to know if your symptoms are caused by a stomach ulcer, then this important message could be exactly what you need right now.
First we discuss all the signs and symptoms of all types of stomach ulcers, and then we provide some interesting facts on the most popular pharmaceutical and alternative natural treatments. Here you can also discover the truth about why the most commonly prescribed treatment fails up to 70% of the time.
Your good health is as important to us as it is to you, so we promise that once you have read this unique information and you have seen our recommendations, you will see how you can be over 98% confident of regaining optimum digestive health once again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's begin with the most common
signs and symptoms of stomach ulcers...
We will start with the most common symptoms of a stomach ulcer. Remember that if you have any form of stomach ulcer, it is highly likely that you are infected with H. pylori bacteria.
If you are worried that you are indeed suffering from the symptoms of a stomach ulcer or a peptic ulcer, then a proper diagnosis by a health professional is recommended.
Keep a look out for these ulcer symptoms - they are common to all types of stomach ulcers caused by H. pylori - including gastric ulcers, duodenal ulcers, and peptic ulcers.
• Abdominal pain - H. pylori can cause painful inflammation of the stomach and small intestine lining. Pain can also be caused by a build up of gases, and constipation.
• Heartburn - Also called acid reflux, or GERD. When acid is low, digestion of food becomes slow and difficult. The result is that food sits in the stomach too long and gives off gases which can cause burning sensations in the stomach and throat.
• Anemia - Or iron deficiency - this is closely linked with an H. pylori infection. When an H. pylori infection has caused low stomach acid, it becomes particularly difficult to digest protein (which contains iron).
• Mild Abdominal Discomfort - Typically felt 2 - 4 hours before or after meals
• Bad Breath - H pylori organisms present in stomach acid create ammonia, which results in bad breath.
• Chest Pain - When H. pylori infection causes an inflammation in the stomach, the pain signals from the stomach can reflex into the chest, shoulder blade and stomach areas
• Constipation - When H. pylori causes low stomach acid, food is not processed properly causing undigested food to be released into the intestine.
• Diarrhea - The diarrhea may only happen infrequently, or it may happen almost daily, depending on how chronic the infection of H. pylori is.
• Gastritis - Gastritis is characterized by an inflammation of the stomach lining. H. pylori uses it's corkscrew shape to burrow into, and injure the stomach lining, which results in inflammation.
• Nausea & Vomiting - H pylori causes nausea, but the reason for this is not clear. It is thought that as the body attempts to rid itself of the infection, the ejection happens through the process of vomiting. These symptoms can sometimes be mistaken for morning sickness in pregnant women.
Secondary, but less common symptoms...
These ulcer symptoms are listed in no particular order, but they are important to note. If you are showing any of the symptoms shown above, then these secondary symptoms may also be experienced;
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Fatigue or Low Energy
• Headaches or Migraines
• Skin Problems
• Pre Menstrual Stress
• Sinus Problems
• Sleep Problems
• Weight Problems (Gain or Loss)
If you have any of the above symptoms, then it is possible that you may have a stomach ulcer. Fortunately, 90% of all ulcers are easily curable, but there is a hidden danger....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Different Ulcers present different symptoms
There are 7 different types of stomach ulcers and the symptoms are different for each different type of ulcer.
For example, duodenal and gastric ulcers have symptoms which are quite opposite, and this can be quite confusing.
Please click on Gastric Ulcers or Duodenal Ulcers to find more specific symptoms of these types of ulcers.
Any symptoms of a stomach ulcer seen above
should be regarded as a warning signal.
If you notice any one particular ulcer symptom, then the best advice we can offer is that you keep a lookout for any other secondary symptoms that may follow.
Never hesitate to see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. Stomach ulcer symptoms should be taken seriously.
By making sure you know the real facts behind ulcers and the most commonly prescribed treatments, you can more easily decide on what the right treatment will be for you, so that you can live without any further pain and discomfort.
Are you sure you have a stomach ulcer? This is an important question because stomach ulcer symptoms can easily be confused with the symptoms of other GI Tract disorders. Always make sure by getting a proper diagnosis by a health professional.
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Symptoms of Bleeding Ulcers...
...a potentially dangerous condition.
Unattended ulcers can start bleeding - and this is potentially the most dangerous condition of all!
When stomach ulcers have start bleeding, these are the most likely warning signs to look out for;
• Black and smelly stools
• Nausea or vomiting of blood
• Chest and back pain
• Fainting and dizzy episodes
'NO PAIN' does NOT mean 'NO PROBLEM'- If you have a bleeding ulcer you may not feel any pain at all.
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Contrary to popular beliefs - up to
90% of stomach ulcers are proven to
be caused by Helicobacter pylori...
If you didn't already know it - this is the single most important fact that you should know about stomach ulcers.
No matter what you have been told or what you have read elsewhere - this has been clinically proven over and over again using thousands of case studies - contrary to popular beliefs and claims about stress, bad eating habits, or free radicals (the clinical studies that 'prove' this theory are based on a tiny group people and are inconclusive).
It has also been proven beyond doubt, that when an infection of Helicobacter Pylori has been cleared, this is naturally followed by a healing of stomach ulcers. Therefore the main objective of any good stomach ulcer treatment will be to remove all traces of helicobacter pylori bacteria.
Just knowing the important facts listed on this page, could save you from months of unnecessary pain and suffering
This unique information comes from a source
that has never been made public before...
We want you to know the all the facts about the treatment of stomach ulcer symptoms - that includes everything from diagnosis and testing, to actually getting completely cured.
Most of the facts you are about to read below have come to us from health professionals - a source that has never been made public before. Based on this you will find that most of our advice will be very different to anything else you may have seen elsewhere. Please take a little time now and absorb and understand as much as you can from this information - it will benefit you to know all of this.
The 10 Facts about Ulcer treatments
that Doctors won't tell you about...
These important facts demonstrate how ineffective ulcer treatments really are - cold facts that have purposely been kept from you by health professionals and drug companies.
The sad fact is that nearly ALL doctors know already know about these facts, because they all experience it almost all the time in their own practices - and with their own patients.
"The biggest cause of failure is due to patients not being able to complete their course of treatment...and this is attributed directly to the harsh and well documented negative effects of prescribed treatments"
helicobacter tick#1 - Most doctors simply have no options other than antibiotic treatments when it comes to prescribing treatments for H. pylori infections. The prescription will almost always be either a Triple Therapy (or Quadruple Therapy if the Triple Therapy fails)
helicobacter tick#2 - Doctors highly recommend drug therapy - yet they cannot guarantee that their prescribed treatment will work.
helicobacter tick#3 - H. pylori is becoming increasingly resistant to antibiotic treatments.
helicobacter tick#4 - Thousands of ulcer sufferers have taken more than 4 courses of the SAME antibiotic treatment - yet they still suffer from stomach ulcers and H. pylori.
helicobacter tick#5 - Approximately 65% of patients infected with H. pylori are simultaneously infected with Candida Albicans, and they don't even know about it!
helicobacter tick #6 - Some doctors spend more time treating negative side effects of Triple Therapy, than they do treating the stomach ulcer or H. pylori infection.
helicobacter tick#7 - Getting the right results after an H. pylori treatment is crucial, yet patients are literally forced into throwing good money away due to Blood Test results (these should never be used after treatment)
helicobacter tick#8 - The latest drugs being produced for the treatment of H. pylori infections are now being made more powerful in an attempt to be more effective - but sadly the negative side effects are only getting worse (this is the main cause of patients abandoning treatment.)
helicobacter tick#9 - The ONLY way to effectively CURE stomach ulcers caused by H. pylori infection, is to REMOVE THE CAUSE - not the symptoms.
helicobacter tick#10 - Many 'old school' doctors still hold on to the outdated 'No Acid, No Ulcer' mentality, and insist on treating the symptoms of Acid Reflux (GERD) only.
CLICK to see Dosages & Variations
All the Negative Side Effects
you need to be aware of...
For most people stomach ulcer and H. pylori issues are first dealt with by a Doctor. The most widely prescribed treatment is known as Triple Therapy, and if that does not work then it may be followed by Quadruple Therapy. Both of these are antibiotic based and as such there are well documented and widely published negative effects that you need to be aware of BEFORE you take these treatments. These include;
Joint pain, diarrhea, dizziness, fever, flu-like symptoms, stomach upset, low blood pressure, kidney damage, increased liver enzymes, mouth ulcers, nausea, light sensitivity, itching, rash, skin discoloration, hives, vomiting, heartburn, shortness of breath, blood disorders and loss of appetite.
Obviously these are fairly extensive and can be quiet harmful, and therefore worthy of concern.
If you feel you will not be able to cope with any of these negative side effects, then we strongly urge you to keep reading....we want you to have the right knowledge so that you can make an educated decision on how you can claim back your good health, without any further stress or disappointments.
Here's a list of the some
popular natural alternatives...
If you have already been diagnosed with H. pylori then you may want to explore these options. Sometimes big claims and promises are made, so always ask for clinical tests and a money back guarantee BEFORE you decide to part with your money!
• Herbs - Without doubt, the best natural treatment we have found for stomach ulcers and H. pylori is one now being used by Doctors and other Health Care professionals around the world. Clinically tested and proven to be a very effective herbal treatment for stomach ulcers, it is proven to eradicate all strains H. pylori completely, and without any negative side effects. This 100% natural treatment is an easy treatment to take, as opposed to the difficult treatment regime of Triple Therapy and it's known negative effects.
• Ayurvedic medicine - widely practiced Holistic treatment in modern India and now steadily gaining popularity in the West. Ayurvedic medicine works on your diet, detoxification and purification techniques, herbal remedies, breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, and massage therapy.
• Acupuncture - tests on patients who have undergone acupuncture treatment for stomach ulcers show that acupuncture procedures can normalize certain processes of the gastro intestinal tract. There is not much evidence available to show exactly how effective acupuncture is as a treatment for stomach ulcers caused by H. pylori. Acupuncture is a painless treatment with thin metal needles being inserted to varying depths, and at specific acupuncture points. The needles are usually left inserted for 15 - 30 minutes. Treatment normally involves multiple sessions over a period of weeks or months.
• Vitamins and Minerals - Zinc, vitamin A and beta-carotene will boost your stomach lining's ability to repair and regenerate itself, however vitamins alone will not remove the cause of stomach ulcers. See more about vitamins in our recommended ulcer diet.
• Homeopathy - for a homeopath, the symptoms of the disease are much more important than the ulcer itself. A homeopath not only tries to heal the ulcer but also tries to remove the cause of the ulcer as well as the tendency for a relapse. Examples of homeopathic medicines used for stomach ulcers are argentum-nit, arsenic-alb, hydrastis, kali-bichrom, phosphorus, uranium-nit, terebintha, atropine, geranium, natrum-phos, medorrhinum, merc-cor, ornithogalum, lycopodium, pulsatilla and graphites.
REMEMBER! The main cause of all types of stomach ulcers is Helicobacter Pylori.
NO HELICOBACTER PYLORI means NO STOMACH ULCERS
If you really want to beat stomach ulcers...
...we have some great news for you!
We fully understand that you may have already been trying to get rid of H. pylori infection and/or a stomach ulcer, and that you may be visiting our site now because a treatment has failed, and perhaps you are searching an alternative treatment that may actually work for you. Even if this is not the case and you know you have an ulcer and want to treat it naturally, then rest assured - you are in the right place!
FACT! It is now completely possible for you to safely and effectively remove all strains of Helicobacter pylori with a clinically proven 100% natural treatment.
There is a natural way to safely remove the cause...
...but most doctors are still unaware of this.
Unfortunately, stomach ulcers and helicobacter pylori infections will not go away without treatment. The problem is that most doctors only know the pharmaceutical options, and are generally unaware of any alternative natural remedies for stomach ulcers.
Quite often, unfair judgment is passed even in the absence of any knowledge of the safety or effectiveness of these remedies. This may cause you some doubt and confusion, so please be aware of this.
CLICK HERE to Learn More Now
Learn how you can finally
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...and with virtually ZERO risk!
If you don't want to consider any treatments that may fail or disappoint you, then we strongly urge you to keep reading.... because you are going to see just how simple it is for you to make sure that the treatment you decide on will work for you - without any risks.
Making a bad choice with your treatment could mean you having to endure weeks, if not months, of suffering with further ill health and ongoing medication. This does not have to happen to you, because you are just one click away from finding the key to good digestive healthy once again.
8 reasons why New York women can’t get a husband By Jane Ridley
8 reasons why New York women can’t get a husband
By Jane Ridley
.
8 reasons why New York women can’t get a husband
"Princeton Mom" Susan Patton has penned "Marry Smart," a book of dating advice for young women.
year, Susan Patton, a Princeton grad and the mother of two sons at the elite college, outraged feminists when she wrote an open letter to the Daily Princetonian telling female students to find a husband on campus before they graduate.
The red alert — which argued that these Ivy League college girls “would never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who would be worthy of you” — went viral with more than 100 million hits.
Now Patton, an independent HR consultant who lives on Manhattan’s Upper East Side and who’s been dubbed “Princeton Mom,” has capitalized on her fame with an old-fashioned dating manual, “Marry Smart.” Published this week, the book argues that coeds have a limited shelf life “as young, beautiful [women who are] as attractive to men or as fertile” and advises them to spend three-quarters of their time in school on the hunt for Mr. Right.
But what happens if you missed your shot and didn’t get that all-important MRS certificate along with your liberal arts degree?
Nil desperandum, says Patton. She believes that, even in the dog-eat-dog dating jungle that is New York, there is hope for single career women between the ages of 22 and 35 (yes, that’s her cutoff) who also want marriage and babies.
“These women are spinsters-in-training, but they can turn it around,” says the 50-something divorcée. “They need to apply the same attitude and gumption that got them to New York City to the task of getting a husband.”
So listen up, unattached ladies! Here’s where Princeton Mom thinks you’re going wrong:
1
You drink too much
Modal Trigger
DrinkingThe lush life may help NYC gals relieve stress, but it won't help land a suitable man for wedded bliss.
Photo: Anne Wermiel
The ubiquitous “happy hour” sign outside your favorite bar might be beckoning — according to a recent study, binge drinking is on the rise here in NYC — but think before you dash through the doors of Dorrian’s for a 50-cent beer to ease your work stress. “Honestly, do you think that you’re at your most attractive when you are drunk, slurring your words and on the verge of puking?” asks Patton. “You’re not, and by drinking to excess, you put yourself at risk. Women who are sloppy drunks are a huge turnoff, as is the smell of puke on your hair.” You should also question whether a Second Avenue dive that shutters at 4 a.m. is the best hunting ground for love. “At best, it’s an undignified place to meet men; at worst, it’s a dangerous place to encounter possible psychopaths,” warns Patton. Her preferred spots to nab that life partner? The Metropolitan Museum, the Guggenheim, MoMA. “Any museum is a safe and very reasonable place to engage in conversation with strangers over Monet’s brilliant use of light, Mondrian’s cubist overtones or Calder’s playfulness,” she observes.
2
You might as well be married to your iPhone
Modal Trigger
031214MarrySmartTips31AW.jpgLadies, put down that smart phone -- it's a potential husband killer! Instead, "Princeton Mom" Susan Patton suggests holding your head high -- and smiling.
Photo: Anne Wermiel
You’ll never hear wedding bells when you’re constantly bent over an electronic device with your earbuds in. “When you walk through Grand Central Station, Central Park or down Madison Avenue — hold your head high and get in the habit of looking people in the eye,” says Patton. “Smile. Look like you’d be nice to speak with — welcoming, warm, charming. You can’t do any of that if you are hunched over your laptop or iPad.” Instead, it’s time to wise up, smell the spring flowers and go for a walk at lunchtime.
3
You wear too much black
Modal Trigger
FashionAvoid black, boyish outfits and choose chic, flirty frocks in bright, welcoming colors instead.
Photo: Catwalking/Getty Images;AP Images
New York women may be known for their fashion sense, but black clothing, severe silhouettes and the kind of avant garb made famous by local fashionista Leandra Medine (a k a the Man Repeller) are all no-no’s. “Anything that makes a woman look like she’s dressing as a man” is to be avoided, says Patton. In other words, you can’t go wrong with a pastel-colored frock. “You should dress with more sophistication,” says Patton, whose favorite designer is Tahari. Another Patton peeve is the gal who wears no makeup, even when she’s jogging around the Prospect Park loop at 7 a.m. “If you are in serious husband-hunting mode, don’t leave your apartment unless you look so good that you’d be delighted to run into your ex-boyfriend,” she adds. “Remember, your body hasn’t yet been ravaged by childbirth, and presumably you’ve kept yourself healthy and attractive. You have to make the best of this time.”
4
You're dating too many guys at work
Modal Trigger
Screen shot 2013-02-15 at 3.07.06 PM.jpgJoan bedded her boss Roger Sterling on "Mad Men."
Seeing as you spend most of your waking hours in the office, you might be tempted to make like Joan Holloway from “Mad Men” with your very own Roger Sterling (above). But show Patton a career girl who thinks she’ll find the man of her dreams at the office, and she’ll show you a future “old lady with cats.” “Women tend to be attracted to men at work who are older than they are and more senior,” she says. “When those love affairs end — and they almost always end — it’s the junior-position woman who is forced to find a new job or remain there feeling awkward.” Besides, you shouldn’t be “fishing off the company pier,” anyway. “Don’t mix your business and personal life,” adds Patton. As for married men, you already know the score. “He’s not leaving his wife for you. And if he would cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you,” says Patton. Quit wasting your time with unsuitable men. “Bad boys can be fun to fool around with, and women do have needs, but stay away from these pigs for the sake of a little sausage.”
5
You spend too much time with your gay best friend
Modal Trigger
749638_Girls_JM_ep203_6_11_12_4067.jpgOn "Girls," Elijah may be fun to hang out with, but Hannah will never get to the altar if she spends all her time with her gay pal.
Do the funnest of your funnest nights out always end up at Therapy? We know they’re a blast, but it’s time to ditch your gay pals for a while and shop in a more appropriate market. “Your gay boyfriends are wonderful, but they are not marriage material,” says Patton. “They’ll understand if you explain why you have to spend a little less time with them until you find your man. There may not be many prospects for you on Christopher Street, but your homosexual friends may know straight guys who might be appropriate for you.” Let them know that you’d consider it a favor.
6
You're ignoring your biological clock
Modal Trigger
BabyTickerDon't put your ambitions for motherhood on hold for your career.
In a city like New York, where a girl is bombarded by subway ads for IVF clinics, fertility endocrinologists and all manner of assisted reproduction techniques, it’s all too easy to put your ambitions for motherhood on hold. “No, no, no, no,” shrieks Patton. “If you aspire to motherhood within marriage, you have a limited window of opportunity within which to find a husband and bear your own children.” To all those women who want to have children naturally, with the support of a husband, she sounds an unapologetic wake-up call. “You are not getting any younger,” says Patton. “But the women you are competing with to get the men you’re interested in marrying are most certainly getting younger.”
7
You hook up too much
Modal Trigger
kissing
Photo: Shutterstock
Young, career-obsessed New York women are only too happy to hop in the sack without any long-term plans — witness the rising popularity of hookup apps like Tinder. But Patton takes a dim view of casual sex. “Men lose interest in women that are easier to make than a peanut butter sandwich,” she insists. “If you offer men sex without commitment, you eliminate the incentive for them to commit.” Granny was right: Men won’t buy the cow if the milk is free. “The women who troll the Meatpacking District are in the business of one-night stands, but if you are looking for a more substantial relationship, you have to pace yourself and engage in a very slow dance towards intimacy,” she warns. Patton also thinks you should keep details of your sex life to yourself. “Who you have sex with is your private business, so keep it private,” she says. “Talking about your hookups (or complaining about them) reflects badly on your judgment and your character.”
8
You over-rely on NYC conveniences
Modal Trigger
30 RockIt took workaholic Liz Lemon six seasons to find love on "30 Rock."
Photo: Ali Goldstein
Yes, you’re stressed out and tired and you can get virtually anything delivered to you in this great city. But Seamless, FreshDirect and Netflix are making you lazy and, if Chinese is your takeout of choice, fat. “Everybody works hard, and at the end of a long day it’s great to order in tapas and binge on a ‘House of Cards’ marathon,” says Patton. “But you won’t meet anybody new in your studio walk-up.” So, slip off the Slanket and get out into the world. As a dog lover, Patton (who owns a dachshund named Lucille) firmly believes in the power of the canine-concocted romance. “Grab a leash, your lipstick and go for a walk in the park — if you’ve trained your dog well, they can act as your wingman.”
Being "Sexy" For Your Husband? (part one)
Being "Sexy" For Your Husband? (part one)
Q: Got this question from a reader (Annie):
Have you considered [writing about] "being sexy", or the idea that married, Christian women ought to make an effort to be attractive to their husbands, whose emotional well-being is so centered in visual gratification (of his wife) and physical intimacy?
A: Absolutely! This is a very important issue for all women, particularly in our generation (when men and women alike are being fed such WRONG images of beauty/sexiness), and particularly in our culture of Christianity (which has taken cues from Victorian-era ethics which greatly undermine the joy & satisfaction in the marriage relationship). So, let's just do a series about it, shall we? ;)
There are several aspects we should consider when looking at this question:
1.Should a Christian wife be enticing or seductive towards her own husband?
2.Where does the standard of "sexiness" come from?
3.What is definitely off-limits for Christian marriages?
4.Should there be a difference in our attitude, countenance, and the way we carry our body in public and in private?
5.How important is this in a Christian marriage?
I will attempt to unpack these in future segments (and I'm open to any other suggestions or aspects you all may want to this
"Should a Christian wife be enticing or seductive towards her own husband?"
For this, there is one very obvious place to look, nearly smack-dab in the center of the Bible: the Song of Solomon. I'll highlight some verses from this book and take them, one at a time, and try to glean some things from them about marital intimacy and seduction. (For the purposes of our discussion, let me clarify that I am defining seducing as "seeking to be attractive to" one's spouse.)
First, let's look at some of what Solomon has to say to his bride:
•"Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with a string of jewels" (1:10) - She decorates her face and body to attract him.
•"Behold, you are beautiful, my love" (1:15) - He finds her attractive. There is no shame or sin in this.
•He notices (one by one) her eyes, hair, teeth, lips, mouth, cheeks, neck, and breasts and then says, "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." (4:1-7) - Two things to observe about this: (1) He notices her. He sees her face and body and takes pleasure in seeing it, and there is no shame or sin in that. (2) She lets him notice her. She's not hiding herself from him, and she's not ashamed of her body (though Chapter 1 tells us that she doesn't look like every other woman). I have heard so many women who are so embarrassed or self-conscious about their body that they never enjoy intimacy in daylight or any light at all... they have taken to heart the world's messages about what beauty looks like, and it is negatively affecting their marital intimacy. (As I've said before, we're the only godly outlet for our husband's sexual needs and desires!!! God MADE YOU to fulfill your husband's needs in this area!) It is perfectly OK and normal (and even "GOOD", as God declared of His creation in Genesis) for a husband to take visual pleasure in his wife!
•"You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace" (4:9) - She is captivating him, enticing him with her eyes... she's not begrudgingly agreeing to intimacy... she's captivating him!
•"How much better is your love than wine" (4:10) - He finds her addictive and, one could say, "delicious"!
•He notices (one by one) her feet, thighs, navel, belly, breasts, neck, eyes, nose, and head and then says, "How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights!" (7:1-6) - This time, he's noticing the rest of her body. He's taking delight in every part of her. And she's letting him. Once again, she's not hiding or holding back... she is open towards him in every way, and he takes great pleasure in this!
And let's look at what this bride has to say about her interactions with Solomon:
•"While [he] was on his couch, my nard (a fragrant herb) gave forth its fragrance" (1:12) - She's prepared for intimacy with him... she has put effort into making a pleasant environment for their time together.
•"On my bed by night I sought him who my soul loves." (3:1) - This is not just responding or reacting to a husband's desires for intimacy... it reveals a wife who seeks out her husband, who makes intimacy a priority, and who rightly sees intimacy as connected to her love for her husband.
•"I held him, and would not let him go" (3:4) - This bride wants her husband's physical attentions.
•"Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits" (4:16) - However you read this (and there are a variety of interpretations), she offers all that she has and the best of what she has to her husband. She's not withholding anything good from him.
•"My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me." (5:4) - She eagerly awaits the time she'll spend with her beloved.
•"He is altogether desirable" (5:16) - Not only does she allow him to take delight in her, but she delights herself in him.
•"Choice fruits... I have laid up for you, O my beloved" (7:13) Again, she prepares the best for him. And she prepares for him.
I can't speak for you, but after reading just these select verses, it is abundantly clear to me that it is not only acceptable, but it is right and good for a wife to be enticing towards her husband.
Our society and Christian culture (which, as I mentioned, has derived a lot of its sexual "morality" from the rigidity and frigidity of Victorian-era morals) have combined forces to heap shame and guilt and self-consciousness on top of Christian women today, and we have not effectively responded to these assaults. Too often, we allow body image to keep us from opening ourselves up to our husband's visual delight. Too often, we allow the truly sinful aspects of our culture's overt seduction (on display 24/7 on TV, movies, and in malls) to lead us to believe that visual and physical seduction is, in itself, sinful.
We need to stand up and rightly stake claim on what can be ours: pure delight and freedom in intimacy within our marriages! On this first aspect, I must answer this: that, opposed to what our pious "Christian" culture might have instilled in us, it is GOOD for a Christian wife to strive to be enticing and seductive towards her husband.
What say you? How do you see this issue? Is it a struggle for you to see physical and visual pleasure in this way? (As always, since this is a sensitive and personal subject, I will publish anonymous comments so that we can speak more honestly.)
Q: Got this question from a reader (Annie):
Have you considered [writing about] "being sexy", or the idea that married, Christian women ought to make an effort to be attractive to their husbands, whose emotional well-being is so centered in visual gratification (of his wife) and physical intimacy?
A: Absolutely! This is a very important issue for all women, particularly in our generation (when men and women alike are being fed such WRONG images of beauty/sexiness), and particularly in our culture of Christianity (which has taken cues from Victorian-era ethics which greatly undermine the joy & satisfaction in the marriage relationship). So, let's just do a series about it, shall we? ;)
There are several aspects we should consider when looking at this question:
1.Should a Christian wife be enticing or seductive towards her own husband?
2.Where does the standard of "sexiness" come from?
3.What is definitely off-limits for Christian marriages?
4.Should there be a difference in our attitude, countenance, and the way we carry our body in public and in private?
5.How important is this in a Christian marriage?
I will attempt to unpack these in future segments (and I'm open to any other suggestions or aspects you all may want to this
"Should a Christian wife be enticing or seductive towards her own husband?"
For this, there is one very obvious place to look, nearly smack-dab in the center of the Bible: the Song of Solomon. I'll highlight some verses from this book and take them, one at a time, and try to glean some things from them about marital intimacy and seduction. (For the purposes of our discussion, let me clarify that I am defining seducing as "seeking to be attractive to" one's spouse.)
First, let's look at some of what Solomon has to say to his bride:
•"Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with a string of jewels" (1:10) - She decorates her face and body to attract him.
•"Behold, you are beautiful, my love" (1:15) - He finds her attractive. There is no shame or sin in this.
•He notices (one by one) her eyes, hair, teeth, lips, mouth, cheeks, neck, and breasts and then says, "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." (4:1-7) - Two things to observe about this: (1) He notices her. He sees her face and body and takes pleasure in seeing it, and there is no shame or sin in that. (2) She lets him notice her. She's not hiding herself from him, and she's not ashamed of her body (though Chapter 1 tells us that she doesn't look like every other woman). I have heard so many women who are so embarrassed or self-conscious about their body that they never enjoy intimacy in daylight or any light at all... they have taken to heart the world's messages about what beauty looks like, and it is negatively affecting their marital intimacy. (As I've said before, we're the only godly outlet for our husband's sexual needs and desires!!! God MADE YOU to fulfill your husband's needs in this area!) It is perfectly OK and normal (and even "GOOD", as God declared of His creation in Genesis) for a husband to take visual pleasure in his wife!
•"You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace" (4:9) - She is captivating him, enticing him with her eyes... she's not begrudgingly agreeing to intimacy... she's captivating him!
•"How much better is your love than wine" (4:10) - He finds her addictive and, one could say, "delicious"!
•He notices (one by one) her feet, thighs, navel, belly, breasts, neck, eyes, nose, and head and then says, "How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights!" (7:1-6) - This time, he's noticing the rest of her body. He's taking delight in every part of her. And she's letting him. Once again, she's not hiding or holding back... she is open towards him in every way, and he takes great pleasure in this!
And let's look at what this bride has to say about her interactions with Solomon:
•"While [he] was on his couch, my nard (a fragrant herb) gave forth its fragrance" (1:12) - She's prepared for intimacy with him... she has put effort into making a pleasant environment for their time together.
•"On my bed by night I sought him who my soul loves." (3:1) - This is not just responding or reacting to a husband's desires for intimacy... it reveals a wife who seeks out her husband, who makes intimacy a priority, and who rightly sees intimacy as connected to her love for her husband.
•"I held him, and would not let him go" (3:4) - This bride wants her husband's physical attentions.
•"Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits" (4:16) - However you read this (and there are a variety of interpretations), she offers all that she has and the best of what she has to her husband. She's not withholding anything good from him.
•"My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me." (5:4) - She eagerly awaits the time she'll spend with her beloved.
•"He is altogether desirable" (5:16) - Not only does she allow him to take delight in her, but she delights herself in him.
•"Choice fruits... I have laid up for you, O my beloved" (7:13) Again, she prepares the best for him. And she prepares for him.
I can't speak for you, but after reading just these select verses, it is abundantly clear to me that it is not only acceptable, but it is right and good for a wife to be enticing towards her husband.
Our society and Christian culture (which, as I mentioned, has derived a lot of its sexual "morality" from the rigidity and frigidity of Victorian-era morals) have combined forces to heap shame and guilt and self-consciousness on top of Christian women today, and we have not effectively responded to these assaults. Too often, we allow body image to keep us from opening ourselves up to our husband's visual delight. Too often, we allow the truly sinful aspects of our culture's overt seduction (on display 24/7 on TV, movies, and in malls) to lead us to believe that visual and physical seduction is, in itself, sinful.
We need to stand up and rightly stake claim on what can be ours: pure delight and freedom in intimacy within our marriages! On this first aspect, I must answer this: that, opposed to what our pious "Christian" culture might have instilled in us, it is GOOD for a Christian wife to strive to be enticing and seductive towards her husband.
What say you? How do you see this issue? Is it a struggle for you to see physical and visual pleasure in this way? (As always, since this is a sensitive and personal subject, I will publish anonymous comments so that we can speak more honestly.)
Why You Need To Stop Looking For Your Future Husband In Every Guy You Meet
Why You Need To Stop Looking For Your Future Husband In Every Guy You Meet
The problem with women today is they are too eager for love. Throughout college, women felt an overwhelming pressure to find that one special guy to settle down with. Many girls wanted to fulfill that cookie-cutter dream of meeting their husband in college and starting a family right after, but after those four years quickly slipped away, they found themselves alone and scrambling.
We find ourselves living with this constant pressure to find a husband before it’s too late. It’s become so ingrained in our subconscious that within two minutes of meeting a guy, we will start thinking about what he would be like as a husband. It’s become an innate natural process. But just because it comes naturally doesn’t mean it’s right.
We have been conditioned to believe we need to find a husband, but that doesn’t mean you need to look at every guy as if he will be the one. This habit will leave you constantly disappointed. Getting let down is something that shouldn’t happen on a daily basis. Besides the fact that you are putting impossible pressure on yourself and the men you date, marriage is not something that needs to happen right away. So here’s why you need to stop looking for your husband in every guy.
Not Every Man Is Right For You
If you do it right, you should have one husband in your life. That’s it. Just one person out of billions. So how can you possibly believe that every guy is going to be a potential candidate? The problem that comes from this is an epidemic of settling. Women will date below themselves so they can feel loved. They will settle for comfortable rather than finding that passionate, heart-stopping romance they know awaits for them.
“Don’t date people who are inappropriate for you — because you can fall in love with anyone.”
-Heather Dubrow
A woman once told me that I should marry a man who loves me more than I love him. Many girls believe in this piece of advice, adhering to it more often than not. But it’s a bad piece of advice and you should never give up on that romantic love.
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You Cannot Enjoy That Person For Who They Are
If you are constantly trying to make them your husband, you won’t enjoy them for who they are. You will see them as a potential spouse and that’s not how you should look at a 20-something boy.
Guys can be great people, but awful husbands. If you are constantly judging them on their potential to lead to marriage, you will never see them for who they really are.
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Men Don’t Want To Be Your Husband
Guys don’t want to be husbands right now. Men and women couldn’t be looking for more opposite things at this point in their lives. The hard truth is, men just want to f*ck. That’s it.
They want to have casual sex for as long as possible and they are not going to just give that up because you want a hubby. Once you understand that men are only looking for someone to go to bed with, you will begin to better understand how to keep relationships and men.
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Expectation Leads To Disappointment
Before you even get a chance to really know the guy you have put an unbelievable amount of pressure on him. He is doomed to fail from the beginning and you will end up disappointed, yet again. You can only have so many failed relationships until you start to realize that maybe the problem is you.
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”
-William Shakespeare
You are starting with unbelievably high standards and setting yourself up for failure. Imagine if you didn’t start with any expectations? Imagine if you just went into the relationship with no goals, no agenda and simply tried to enjoy the other person and your time together.
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You Don’t Know What You’re Looking For Yet
How can you possibly know what you want in a husband if you don’t even know who you are yet. Millennial women are still maturing and saying that you will be the same person in ten years as you are now is just naive.
Saying you want a husband right now is like building the cart before the horse, you’re just not ready. You can start thinking about weddings and white picket fences after you’re paying for your own health insurance.
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Get Too Serious Too Fast
Relationships aren’t about the destination, but the journey. If you are constantly thinking about that guy as your husband, you are inevitably going to speed up the relationship. Relationships are to be enjoyed, to be basked in.
They are a beautiful journeys filled with love and excitement, and just thinking about the finish line is dooming it from the start.
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Marriages Are Outdated
We live in a culture where more than half of marriages end in divorce. Our generation is seeing more living together and less tying the knot. It’s becoming more outdated everyday and fewer couples are choosing to buy into it. We are choosing to just live with our significant others, rather than legally bind ourselves to them.
It’s something that has occurred after seeing the disappointing divorce rate of our parents. Revolving your entire life around finding a husband is not only immature, but it’s outdated.
The problem with women today is they are too eager for love. Throughout college, women felt an overwhelming pressure to find that one special guy to settle down with. Many girls wanted to fulfill that cookie-cutter dream of meeting their husband in college and starting a family right after, but after those four years quickly slipped away, they found themselves alone and scrambling.
We find ourselves living with this constant pressure to find a husband before it’s too late. It’s become so ingrained in our subconscious that within two minutes of meeting a guy, we will start thinking about what he would be like as a husband. It’s become an innate natural process. But just because it comes naturally doesn’t mean it’s right.
We have been conditioned to believe we need to find a husband, but that doesn’t mean you need to look at every guy as if he will be the one. This habit will leave you constantly disappointed. Getting let down is something that shouldn’t happen on a daily basis. Besides the fact that you are putting impossible pressure on yourself and the men you date, marriage is not something that needs to happen right away. So here’s why you need to stop looking for your husband in every guy.
Not Every Man Is Right For You
If you do it right, you should have one husband in your life. That’s it. Just one person out of billions. So how can you possibly believe that every guy is going to be a potential candidate? The problem that comes from this is an epidemic of settling. Women will date below themselves so they can feel loved. They will settle for comfortable rather than finding that passionate, heart-stopping romance they know awaits for them.
“Don’t date people who are inappropriate for you — because you can fall in love with anyone.”
-Heather Dubrow
A woman once told me that I should marry a man who loves me more than I love him. Many girls believe in this piece of advice, adhering to it more often than not. But it’s a bad piece of advice and you should never give up on that romantic love.
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You Cannot Enjoy That Person For Who They Are
If you are constantly trying to make them your husband, you won’t enjoy them for who they are. You will see them as a potential spouse and that’s not how you should look at a 20-something boy.
Guys can be great people, but awful husbands. If you are constantly judging them on their potential to lead to marriage, you will never see them for who they really are.
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Men Don’t Want To Be Your Husband
Guys don’t want to be husbands right now. Men and women couldn’t be looking for more opposite things at this point in their lives. The hard truth is, men just want to f*ck. That’s it.
They want to have casual sex for as long as possible and they are not going to just give that up because you want a hubby. Once you understand that men are only looking for someone to go to bed with, you will begin to better understand how to keep relationships and men.
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Expectation Leads To Disappointment
Before you even get a chance to really know the guy you have put an unbelievable amount of pressure on him. He is doomed to fail from the beginning and you will end up disappointed, yet again. You can only have so many failed relationships until you start to realize that maybe the problem is you.
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”
-William Shakespeare
You are starting with unbelievably high standards and setting yourself up for failure. Imagine if you didn’t start with any expectations? Imagine if you just went into the relationship with no goals, no agenda and simply tried to enjoy the other person and your time together.
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You Don’t Know What You’re Looking For Yet
How can you possibly know what you want in a husband if you don’t even know who you are yet. Millennial women are still maturing and saying that you will be the same person in ten years as you are now is just naive.
Saying you want a husband right now is like building the cart before the horse, you’re just not ready. You can start thinking about weddings and white picket fences after you’re paying for your own health insurance.
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Get Too Serious Too Fast
Relationships aren’t about the destination, but the journey. If you are constantly thinking about that guy as your husband, you are inevitably going to speed up the relationship. Relationships are to be enjoyed, to be basked in.
They are a beautiful journeys filled with love and excitement, and just thinking about the finish line is dooming it from the start.
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Marriages Are Outdated
We live in a culture where more than half of marriages end in divorce. Our generation is seeing more living together and less tying the knot. It’s becoming more outdated everyday and fewer couples are choosing to buy into it. We are choosing to just live with our significant others, rather than legally bind ourselves to them.
It’s something that has occurred after seeing the disappointing divorce rate of our parents. Revolving your entire life around finding a husband is not only immature, but it’s outdated.
Why Do Women Become Prostitutes and Why Do Men Go To Them?
Why Do Women Become Prostitutes and Why Do Men Go To Them?
Dr. Schwartz's Weblog By Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. Apr 12, 2011
Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D. was in private practice for more than thirty years. He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the state.
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This essay is a follow up to one that was posted on December 6, 2008, titled, “Why Do Men Go To Prostitutes?
The answers to these questions are many and complex. The complexity is embedded in the dangers of being simplistic, making generalizations, being judgmental, and falling prey to stereotyping.
The Women:
The most common stereotype of prostitutes is that they are all street walkers, drug addicted, controlled by pimps, and willing to accept a few dollars for their services.
In reality, this “oldest profession” falls into several categories. Yes, there are the street walkers whose lives are awful. However, there are also those women who provide sexual favors in massage parlors, small hotels and out of their own apartments. At the end of the spectrum are those women who are escorts or professional sex workers. Often, they work for themselves and charge sums of money that can run into thousands of dollars for a night out. Sometimes their clients are politicians, sports figures, and Hollywood movie stars.
There are many reasons for women becoming sex workers and escorts. Some of these women have stated that they are attracted by the large sums of money they can earn while they are still young. Others see it as a way to pay for university education and further advancement. Most state that they intend to leave the business once they have earned the amount they want or need. They also see themselves as helping men save their marriages by supplying something they cannot get at home, or helping them chase away loneliness when they are on business trips.
At the other end of the spectrum of prostitution are the street walkers. Most of them are addicted to drugs, and many were forced into prostitution against their will. Sex trafficking is an international, multi billion dollar business involving criminals who kidnap and enslave girls. Girls as young as ten-years of age are snatched from their countries and sold into prostitution far away from their native homes.
Again, it’s important to avoid generalizing about how women get into prostitution. Studies show that large numbers of prostitutes were sexually abused during their childhood. It is the fact of the sexual abuse, more than anything else, that seems to underlay how and why some of them become prostitutes. These are the people most likely to be addicted to drugs as well as to develop, or already have, serious health problems, not the least of which is HIV as well as other STDs.
Finally, there are women who see prostitution as their way out of poverty. While they may choose to sell themselves, it is economic necessity that drives them. These are people who are unable to get jobs and are sometimes the only bread winners in the family.
The Men:
Several men commented on the original article by saying that all of the reasons for paying for sex were not listed. Among the motivating factors for them were: 1. Believing they are ugly and unable to have sex without paying for it, 2. Wanting sex but without all of emotional involvement that comes with a girlfriend, marriage and family; wanting casual sex with no obligations attached, 3. Being convinced that their genitalia is too small and that any average woman would laugh at and reject them, 4. Working long, hard hours leaving no time for dating and romance. These are only a few of the reasons given.
From my perspective, the major concern about these men is not so much that they pay for sex but that they seem blind to the plight of these women. They convince themselves that prostitution is a choice and that none of the women they see are exploited. In some cases, they might be right. A lot depends on where they go and who they see. In my opinion, it’s a mistake to make any assumptions about the women they are visiting.
These are difficult issues that stir controversy. There are those who advocate legalizing and regulating the sex industry. There are others who are outraged by this for moral, or religious reasons.
For example, should a married man, for any reason, see a prostitute? Do you believe that it can help a marriage? Is a man who sees a prostitute being unfaithful?
You are encouraged to discuss your views, opinions, experiences, and opinions on this difficult issue.
Allan N. Schwartz, PhD
Keep Reading By Author Allan Schwartz, LCSW, Ph.D.
Sunday, 27 September 2015
Common Mistakes Women make when discovering that their husband is having affair with woman
Dear Ladies
Common Mistakes Women make when discovering an affair
When you have just discovered that your man is cheating on you...please do NOT do the following:-
1.
Demanding to know about the other woman: The truth may hurt you. Can you handle the truth?
2.
Insulting the other woman: You are giving her power she doesnt deserve. Especially if you insult her to your husband e.g. how is your slut doing?
3.
Forcing him to choose, thinking he will choose you: There is no competition here-you will lose this one! She is new and they are in the honeymoon phase. You, on the other hand, are an old habit.
4.
Calling him excessively to check on him like a prisoner: He may start to avoid your calls even if he is not doing anything bad just to protect his freedom.
5.
Beating the other woman up: You are creating sympathy for her. Now she looks like your victim to him. With this one you are still giving her power.
6.
Threatening to leave just to scare him: You are giving him ideas. You make the grass seem greener on the other side.
7.
Crying: He won't feel sympathy for you - he will feel burdened by the tears.
8.
Snooping: Don't hurt yourself unnecessarily. You will find what you are looking for. Don't break into his e-mails. Don't scroll his cellphone and don't go through his messages.
9.
Being in denial even though the signs are there: Do something about your knowledge or you will make yourself sick. Some diseases are stress-related. Deal with your issues; don't bottle them up.
10.
Telling his mother: For crying out loud! This is his mother!
11.
Committing suicide: Seriously, once you're gone, you're gone!
Do the following; Put the phone down.
It is wise to leave his phone alone. When you are hurting, deal with your disappointment instead of going through his phone only to find more truths that will hurt you.
When his phone rings, leave the room. Even if it's ringing unattended to, leave it alone. Don't answer his phone. Learn to be strong and ignore it.
Don't steal numbers of women from his phone and start embarrassing yourself. These women will know that you are insecure and will press-on with the affair.
Under no circumstances should you call the other woman. If you call her you will achieve nothing except to acknowledge her. She doesn't exist, treat her like that. Entomb her in the dust of her own nothingness.
Dont call your man twenty times a day. It is annoying, he already knows he violated your trust. Don't rub it in his face that you don't trust him. Remember if you want to win this one: create your own rules! Go left when he thinks you will go right!
FORWARD TO LADY FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES!
Common Mistakes Women make when discovering an affair
When you have just discovered that your man is cheating on you...please do NOT do the following:-
1.
Demanding to know about the other woman: The truth may hurt you. Can you handle the truth?
2.
Insulting the other woman: You are giving her power she doesnt deserve. Especially if you insult her to your husband e.g. how is your slut doing?
3.
Forcing him to choose, thinking he will choose you: There is no competition here-you will lose this one! She is new and they are in the honeymoon phase. You, on the other hand, are an old habit.
4.
Calling him excessively to check on him like a prisoner: He may start to avoid your calls even if he is not doing anything bad just to protect his freedom.
5.
Beating the other woman up: You are creating sympathy for her. Now she looks like your victim to him. With this one you are still giving her power.
6.
Threatening to leave just to scare him: You are giving him ideas. You make the grass seem greener on the other side.
7.
Crying: He won't feel sympathy for you - he will feel burdened by the tears.
8.
Snooping: Don't hurt yourself unnecessarily. You will find what you are looking for. Don't break into his e-mails. Don't scroll his cellphone and don't go through his messages.
9.
Being in denial even though the signs are there: Do something about your knowledge or you will make yourself sick. Some diseases are stress-related. Deal with your issues; don't bottle them up.
10.
Telling his mother: For crying out loud! This is his mother!
11.
Committing suicide: Seriously, once you're gone, you're gone!
Do the following; Put the phone down.
It is wise to leave his phone alone. When you are hurting, deal with your disappointment instead of going through his phone only to find more truths that will hurt you.
When his phone rings, leave the room. Even if it's ringing unattended to, leave it alone. Don't answer his phone. Learn to be strong and ignore it.
Don't steal numbers of women from his phone and start embarrassing yourself. These women will know that you are insecure and will press-on with the affair.
Under no circumstances should you call the other woman. If you call her you will achieve nothing except to acknowledge her. She doesn't exist, treat her like that. Entomb her in the dust of her own nothingness.
Dont call your man twenty times a day. It is annoying, he already knows he violated your trust. Don't rub it in his face that you don't trust him. Remember if you want to win this one: create your own rules! Go left when he thinks you will go right!
FORWARD TO LADY FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES!
Rape: Injustice In The Nigerian Justice System
Rape: Injustice In The Nigerian Justice System
By SONIA EDOUWAYE OSUNDE
THE issue of rape has always been one that has been kept in secrecy. Rape is the crime that often times goes unpunished. Rape is the occurrence which leaves its victims marred for life, both physically and emotionally.
According to the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, rape is the act of forcing sexual intercourse or other sexual activity upon another person, without their consent and/or against their will.
Rape is the most serious kind of sexual assault and is punishable in Nigeria with imprisonment for life, with or without whipping (Okonowo and Naish l980) the offence is defined in section 357 of the criminal code as follows:
Any person who has unlawful carnal knowledge of a woman or girl without her consent or with her consent if it is obtained by force or by means of threat or intimidation of any kind or by fear of harm or by means of false representation as to the nature of the act, or in the case of a married woman, by personating her husband is guilty of an offence called rape.
Okonkwo and Naish further explained that rape is a crime that can only be committed against a woman as the act is categorized as rape when there is penetration. Also stating that rape cannot occur between a man and his wife except a separation or divorce has been established between the two of them by a court of law. In such a case, the man can only be charged for assault against his wife.
According to Wikipedia the free encyclopedia, a United Nations statistics report compiled from government sources showed that more than 250,000 cases of rape are recorded annually
Wikipedia also explained that rape cases are hardly reported due to the extreme social stigma cast on the women who have been raped. In some countries, like Islamic countries, where adulteries are punishable by the law, if a victim comes out with a rape case and lacks sufficient evidence to prosecute the perpetrator of the act, the victim will also be tried and prosecuted for adultery.
It was also discovered that the attitude of police towards rape victims also discourages them from coming out. From a research done in Turkey, it was discovered that 33% of police officers agreed with the assertion that “some women deserve rape” and 66% agreed that the physical appearance and behaviours of women tempt men to rape”
According to the American Medical Association, sexual violence and rape in particular is considered the most under reported violent crime and the most common reasons for this is that most of the victims believe that rape is a personal matter and fear of reprisal from the assailant.
The research suggests that between 75% - 95% of rape crimes are never reported to the police.
Many countries including Nigeria do not criminalize marital rape because sex in marriage is considered an absolute right of the husband and can be taken with or without the consent of his wife. The very act of a woman refusing sex is unthinkable. In a research, 74% of women in Mali said that a husband is justified to beat up his wife if she refuses to have sex with him.
In yet another research done in Nigeria, it was discovered that out of a sample of
295 female students from Ebonyi State University, Abakaliki, 36.7% had
experienced sexual harassment! victimization at least once on campus. Of this,
32.4% had been raped
In another study comparing sexual practices of 12-19 year old students with or without moderate intellectual disabilities in schools done in Oyo State, it was discovered that 68.3% of the sexually experienced intellectually disabled females reported history of rape victimization compared to the 2.9% of the sexually experienced non-disabled females shows that many women with intellectual disabilities are being raped constantly and the Nigerian society or justice system has made it almost an impossible desire to have justice prevail over the assailant. This goes to show that rape is a crime that often goes unreported and unpunished in the Nigerian society due to the way such cases are treated.
Types of rape
The following are the major types of rape that have been identified globally
a. Male on female rape e. Date Rape
b. Male on male rape f. Gang Rape
c. Female on male g. lncestual Rape
d. Adult on child h. Marital Rape
Male on female rape is the type of rape where a male assailant sexually harasses a female victim.
Male on male rape usually occurs when the assailant has homosexual tendencies. The victim here could equally be homosexual or might not be. Here the victim is sodomized by the assailant.
Female on male rape usually occurs when the female is older than the male victim or if the victim is mentally challenged.
Adult on child rape is the type of rape which occurs when the victim is too young to either know what is going on or protest. This particular type of rape is very rampant in Nigeria recently, there was an ongoing rape case featured in News Line where a police officer at Nasarawa allegedly raped a two year old girl. Till now justice has not prevailed.
Other types of rape could include date rape, which occurs during or after a date between people who are in a relationship, gang rape, which involves several people, raping the victim, marital rape which has to do with the husband having sexual intercourse with the wife without her consent or by way of force.
Incestual rape, which is the type of rape that involves family members, for example a father could rape the daughter or brother could rape the sister. Child sexual abuse, prison rape, acquaintance rape and war rape are also types of rape.
Effects of rape
Rape leads to both physical and psychological trauma.
In the case of male on female rape, which is the most common type of rape, the
physical effects can be broken down into the following:
Gynecological
• Vaginal or anal bleeding or infections could occur after the incident.
• Virginal inflammation
• Dyspareunia: painful sexual intercourse
• Vaginismus: this is a condition which affects the woman’s ability to engage in any form of virginal penetration
• Chronic and pelvic pain
• Urinary tract infection
• Pregnancy: pregnancy is likely to occur from rape, as, often times, when rape occurs, there is the absence of the use of contraceptives. In 1982, a research done by the American society for reproductive medicine discovered that the risk of pregnancy during rape is the same for that of consensual encounter (2-4%).
In 1996, there was a longitudinal study in the United States of America which discovered that among 4000 rape victims, 5.2% of rape among victims between the ages of 12-45 resulted in pregnancy each year.
Another study done in 1991 in Lima, Costa Rica found that 90% of the new mothers between the ages of 16-19 years were pregnant as a result of rape or incest’ Similar researches have also been done in Ethiopia and Mexico where it was discovered that 17% and 18% of rape cases resulted in pregnancies respectively
Meanwhile, any pregnancy resulting from an encounter with a stranger carries a higher risk of pre-eclampsia, that is the condition in which hypertension arises in pregnancy in association with significant amounts of protein in the urine’ This is a very dangerous condition that could lead to the death of the victim.
*Sexually transmitted diseases: violence or forced sex can increase the risk of transmitting HIV forced vaginal penetration, abrasion and cuts commonly occur, thus facilitating the entry of the virus through the vaginal mucus. Adolescent girls are highly susceptible to HIV infection through forced sex, because their vaginal mucous membranes have not yet acquired cellular density sufficient to provide an effective barrier that develops in the later teenage years.
Psychological Effects
• Self-blame: rape victims often blame themselves for the occurrence of rape, either believing that the incident was their fault through- something they did or did not do or there is something wrong with them which made them to be raped. This condition can be remedied by cognitive therapy.
• Shame: according to June Tangney’ shame is a result of rape and it has destructive effects like, lack of motivation to seek help, lack of empathy, cutting themselves off from other people, anger and aggression.
• Suicide: childhood and adulthood victims of rape are more likely to attempt or commit suicide’ The experience of being raped can lead to suicidal behavior’ In Ethiopia,6% of raped school girls reported having attempted suicide. They also feel embarrassed to talk about what has happened to them with anyone
• Sociological impact
Rape is especially stigmatizing in cultures with strong customs and taboos regarding sex and sexuality. For example, a rape victim who was a virgin before the assault will be regarded as being damaged. afterwards. The rape victim could be isolated by friends and family, disowned or even divorced if the victim is already married. This phenomenon is known as secondary victimization.
Secondary victimization is the re-traumatization of the sexual assault of the rape victim through the responses of individuals and organizations Rape is forbidden under Islamic law therefore, the victim is punished and accused of having sex outside marriage, local sharia courts often punish raped minors by flogging and beating with shoes, but this is not according to orthodox sharia law.
In 1979, the government of Pakistan adopted the Zina ordinance to bring the penal code into accord with Islamic principles. Under this ordinance, the women who reported having been raped must prove that the intercourse was without consent. In a situation where they cannot prove it, they are charged with fornication. As a result, women are unlikely to report rape.
Rights advocates say that this aspect of sharia law not only negates the rights of women but is also a misinterpretation of Islam.
The effects of rape on a child are also as bad as on an adult, if not worse. The harm is both long and short termed. The short term effect includes, depression, post-traumatic stress disorders eating disorders, poor self-esteem, dissociative and anxiety disorders and general psychological disorders. Rape in children could also lead to chronic pain sexualized behavior, school/learning problems and behavioral problems such as substance abuse.
From researches carried out so far, it has been discovered that the justice system in Nigeria tends to either shield the assailant or deny the victim justice for lack of evidence.
TREATMENT OF RAPE CASES IN NIGERIA
The Nigerian constitution and law do not give enough provision to ensure that rape victims get justice while assailants are convicted
As mentioned earlier, rape is an offence punishable by the law In Nigeria. According to the criminal code, an offence is defined as, an act or omission which renders the person doing the act or making the omission liable to punishment under the criminal code or under any act or law The criminal code also explained that there are three types of offences namely felonies, misdemeanors, and simple offences.
A felony is any offence which is declared by the law to be a felony or is punishable without proof of previous conviction, with death or imprisonment for three or more years.
A misdemeanor is any offence which is declared by the law to be a misdemeanor or is punishable by imprisonment for not less than six months, but less than three years, while all offences other than felonies and misdemeanors are simple offences.
In section 218 of the criminal code seriatim, unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl under the age of thirteen is a felony which is liable to imprisonment for life with or without whipping.
Having established the fact that rape is an offence punishable by the Nigerian law earlier, it should be observed that before justice can be served on the assailant, the victim must be able to prove beyond reasonable doubt that not only was she raped, but she was raped by the accused person
.
In other to meet up with this demand, the victim must have enough evidence to prove that there was carnal knowledge or penetration, and that it was done without her consent or with the use of force.
The Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English defines evidence as facts or observations presented in support of an assertion while Faith O Osadolor Esq. in the Source Book on the Law and Practice of Evidence in Nigeria explains the following:
“Evidence is the existence of facts required for the proof of an issue”
Osadolor further stated that a person cannot be convicted for the following offences, listed in section 218,221,223, or 224 of the criminal code upon t uncorroborated testimony of one witness.
First of all it is most unlikely that a rape incident would have a witness as rape is a personal attack on the victim and sexual activities are not usually done in public to the glare of witnesses, therefore, if the law states that the accused person cannot be convicted without the testimony of at least one witness, that shows that the law is unwilling to prosecute the accused person.
Secondly, section 218 of the criminal code also states that prosecution for a person who has unlawful carnal knowledge of a person under the age of thirteen or attempted to do so must be begun within two months after the offence has been committed. In some cases, the victims might not come out on time to seek justice as a result of the fear of stigmatization. What this section of the law means is that anyone who wishes to raise a case against her assailant has an ultimatum of doing so within the space of two months or have a case as serious as rape flung out of the law courts because the case was not filed as early as possible.
What if a person was assaulted at childhood and then decides to get justice after attaining adulthood? The Nigerian justice system states that such an individual cannot get justice because so many years have passed by. Is it ever too late to get justice? No matter the crime?
Section 221 states that a person who, knowing a woman or girl to be an idiot or imbecile, has or attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of her is guilty of misdemeanor and is liable to imprisonment for two years with or without whipping.
It will be observed that this section of the criminal code has drawn a divide between the rape of a normal woman and the rape of a mentally challenged person. rape has one and the same meaning for both the mentally stable and mentally challenged, it means defilement. It should be viewed as a more serious crime when it is done to a person who is mentally challenged because then, the act will be a calculated and well planned attack on the victim who is viewed as being unable to report the offence. In this case, two years imprisonment seems too little a price to pay for someone who meted out such a heinous crime on a fellow human being.
This is not to say that some of the victims have not come up with evidences like torn under-wears, bruises to establish the fact that the intercourse was not consentual or even evidence that semen or other male fluids where found on the woman at the time the accusations were made.
But then, how can it be proven that the bruises were inflicted on the woman by that particular man or that the semen or body fluids found on the woman was actually from the accused?
There are not many hospitals that are involved in DNA testing in Nigeria. Even at that, how long will it take for a DNA test to be carried out, to prove that the assailant is actually guilty of the crime? More so, a victim who does not have the funds to go the extra mile will have no other option but to have the case dropped for lack of evidence.
SOLUTION AND RECOMENDATION
Clauses that tend to protect the assailants should be removed from the criminal code. For example, a rape case does not require a witness before it can be considered. This is because, rape incidents hardly have witnesses and the absence of a witness would mean that the victim has been denied a fair judgment. The criminal code also states that prosecution can only take place if the victim does not have questionable character. This means that the law does not believe a prostitute can be raped. This goes contrary to the aspect which states that rape takes place if a person has unlawful carnal knowledge of a woman without her consent. In a case where the prostitute does not grant consent to the accused, it is believed that rape has taken place, so why will the law deny such a woman from getting justice on the grounds that she is a prostitute?
Okonkwo and Naish also explained that it is no excuse that the person is a common prostitute or a concubine to the accused, as long as there was no consent, the incident can be regarded as rape and therefore should be treated as such.
Secondly, I would suggest that all rape cases should be given a general sentence, which is life imprisonment, regardless of the mental status of the victim as the after effects of rape affect both the mentally stable and the mentally handicapped.
Thirdly, marital rape should be given recognition in the Nigerian justice system because, rape also occurs between spouses and a situation where such is only regarded as assault not do justice to the fact that the woman was actually raped.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, rape is a deadly crime committed against a woman, it has often times led to suicide or diseases that eventually lead to death. Rape is an incident that robs its victims of all forms of dignity and a reason for existence yet the justice system in Nigeria has been set up in such a way that it is almost impossible for the victim to get justice. For this reason, many rape cases go unreported and the victims who still believe in the justice system of Nigeria will have nothing but stigmatization as a reward the justice system in Nigeria has to be seriously reviewed regarding the way it treats rape cases as more criminals will continue to perpetuate such acts, knowing that there will be no punishment for them. Rape should be strongly fought and not encouraged. There should be some form of succour for the victim, as the judiciary is the last hope of the common man.
By SONIA EDOUWAYE OSUNDE
THE issue of rape has always been one that has been kept in secrecy. Rape is the crime that often times goes unpunished. Rape is the occurrence which leaves its victims marred for life, both physically and emotionally.
According to the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English, rape is the act of forcing sexual intercourse or other sexual activity upon another person, without their consent and/or against their will.
Rape is the most serious kind of sexual assault and is punishable in Nigeria with imprisonment for life, with or without whipping (Okonowo and Naish l980) the offence is defined in section 357 of the criminal code as follows:
Any person who has unlawful carnal knowledge of a woman or girl without her consent or with her consent if it is obtained by force or by means of threat or intimidation of any kind or by fear of harm or by means of false representation as to the nature of the act, or in the case of a married woman, by personating her husband is guilty of an offence called rape.
Okonkwo and Naish further explained that rape is a crime that can only be committed against a woman as the act is categorized as rape when there is penetration. Also stating that rape cannot occur between a man and his wife except a separation or divorce has been established between the two of them by a court of law. In such a case, the man can only be charged for assault against his wife.
According to Wikipedia the free encyclopedia, a United Nations statistics report compiled from government sources showed that more than 250,000 cases of rape are recorded annually
Wikipedia also explained that rape cases are hardly reported due to the extreme social stigma cast on the women who have been raped. In some countries, like Islamic countries, where adulteries are punishable by the law, if a victim comes out with a rape case and lacks sufficient evidence to prosecute the perpetrator of the act, the victim will also be tried and prosecuted for adultery.
It was also discovered that the attitude of police towards rape victims also discourages them from coming out. From a research done in Turkey, it was discovered that 33% of police officers agreed with the assertion that “some women deserve rape” and 66% agreed that the physical appearance and behaviours of women tempt men to rape”
According to the American Medical Association, sexual violence and rape in particular is considered the most under reported violent crime and the most common reasons for this is that most of the victims believe that rape is a personal matter and fear of reprisal from the assailant.
The research suggests that between 75% - 95% of rape crimes are never reported to the police.
Many countries including Nigeria do not criminalize marital rape because sex in marriage is considered an absolute right of the husband and can be taken with or without the consent of his wife. The very act of a woman refusing sex is unthinkable. In a research, 74% of women in Mali said that a husband is justified to beat up his wife if she refuses to have sex with him.
In yet another research done in Nigeria, it was discovered that out of a sample of
295 female students from Ebonyi State University, Abakaliki, 36.7% had
experienced sexual harassment! victimization at least once on campus. Of this,
32.4% had been raped
In another study comparing sexual practices of 12-19 year old students with or without moderate intellectual disabilities in schools done in Oyo State, it was discovered that 68.3% of the sexually experienced intellectually disabled females reported history of rape victimization compared to the 2.9% of the sexually experienced non-disabled females shows that many women with intellectual disabilities are being raped constantly and the Nigerian society or justice system has made it almost an impossible desire to have justice prevail over the assailant. This goes to show that rape is a crime that often goes unreported and unpunished in the Nigerian society due to the way such cases are treated.
Types of rape
The following are the major types of rape that have been identified globally
a. Male on female rape e. Date Rape
b. Male on male rape f. Gang Rape
c. Female on male g. lncestual Rape
d. Adult on child h. Marital Rape
Male on female rape is the type of rape where a male assailant sexually harasses a female victim.
Male on male rape usually occurs when the assailant has homosexual tendencies. The victim here could equally be homosexual or might not be. Here the victim is sodomized by the assailant.
Female on male rape usually occurs when the female is older than the male victim or if the victim is mentally challenged.
Adult on child rape is the type of rape which occurs when the victim is too young to either know what is going on or protest. This particular type of rape is very rampant in Nigeria recently, there was an ongoing rape case featured in News Line where a police officer at Nasarawa allegedly raped a two year old girl. Till now justice has not prevailed.
Other types of rape could include date rape, which occurs during or after a date between people who are in a relationship, gang rape, which involves several people, raping the victim, marital rape which has to do with the husband having sexual intercourse with the wife without her consent or by way of force.
Incestual rape, which is the type of rape that involves family members, for example a father could rape the daughter or brother could rape the sister. Child sexual abuse, prison rape, acquaintance rape and war rape are also types of rape.
Effects of rape
Rape leads to both physical and psychological trauma.
In the case of male on female rape, which is the most common type of rape, the
physical effects can be broken down into the following:
Gynecological
• Vaginal or anal bleeding or infections could occur after the incident.
• Virginal inflammation
• Dyspareunia: painful sexual intercourse
• Vaginismus: this is a condition which affects the woman’s ability to engage in any form of virginal penetration
• Chronic and pelvic pain
• Urinary tract infection
• Pregnancy: pregnancy is likely to occur from rape, as, often times, when rape occurs, there is the absence of the use of contraceptives. In 1982, a research done by the American society for reproductive medicine discovered that the risk of pregnancy during rape is the same for that of consensual encounter (2-4%).
In 1996, there was a longitudinal study in the United States of America which discovered that among 4000 rape victims, 5.2% of rape among victims between the ages of 12-45 resulted in pregnancy each year.
Another study done in 1991 in Lima, Costa Rica found that 90% of the new mothers between the ages of 16-19 years were pregnant as a result of rape or incest’ Similar researches have also been done in Ethiopia and Mexico where it was discovered that 17% and 18% of rape cases resulted in pregnancies respectively
Meanwhile, any pregnancy resulting from an encounter with a stranger carries a higher risk of pre-eclampsia, that is the condition in which hypertension arises in pregnancy in association with significant amounts of protein in the urine’ This is a very dangerous condition that could lead to the death of the victim.
*Sexually transmitted diseases: violence or forced sex can increase the risk of transmitting HIV forced vaginal penetration, abrasion and cuts commonly occur, thus facilitating the entry of the virus through the vaginal mucus. Adolescent girls are highly susceptible to HIV infection through forced sex, because their vaginal mucous membranes have not yet acquired cellular density sufficient to provide an effective barrier that develops in the later teenage years.
Psychological Effects
• Self-blame: rape victims often blame themselves for the occurrence of rape, either believing that the incident was their fault through- something they did or did not do or there is something wrong with them which made them to be raped. This condition can be remedied by cognitive therapy.
• Shame: according to June Tangney’ shame is a result of rape and it has destructive effects like, lack of motivation to seek help, lack of empathy, cutting themselves off from other people, anger and aggression.
• Suicide: childhood and adulthood victims of rape are more likely to attempt or commit suicide’ The experience of being raped can lead to suicidal behavior’ In Ethiopia,6% of raped school girls reported having attempted suicide. They also feel embarrassed to talk about what has happened to them with anyone
• Sociological impact
Rape is especially stigmatizing in cultures with strong customs and taboos regarding sex and sexuality. For example, a rape victim who was a virgin before the assault will be regarded as being damaged. afterwards. The rape victim could be isolated by friends and family, disowned or even divorced if the victim is already married. This phenomenon is known as secondary victimization.
Secondary victimization is the re-traumatization of the sexual assault of the rape victim through the responses of individuals and organizations Rape is forbidden under Islamic law therefore, the victim is punished and accused of having sex outside marriage, local sharia courts often punish raped minors by flogging and beating with shoes, but this is not according to orthodox sharia law.
In 1979, the government of Pakistan adopted the Zina ordinance to bring the penal code into accord with Islamic principles. Under this ordinance, the women who reported having been raped must prove that the intercourse was without consent. In a situation where they cannot prove it, they are charged with fornication. As a result, women are unlikely to report rape.
Rights advocates say that this aspect of sharia law not only negates the rights of women but is also a misinterpretation of Islam.
The effects of rape on a child are also as bad as on an adult, if not worse. The harm is both long and short termed. The short term effect includes, depression, post-traumatic stress disorders eating disorders, poor self-esteem, dissociative and anxiety disorders and general psychological disorders. Rape in children could also lead to chronic pain sexualized behavior, school/learning problems and behavioral problems such as substance abuse.
From researches carried out so far, it has been discovered that the justice system in Nigeria tends to either shield the assailant or deny the victim justice for lack of evidence.
TREATMENT OF RAPE CASES IN NIGERIA
The Nigerian constitution and law do not give enough provision to ensure that rape victims get justice while assailants are convicted
As mentioned earlier, rape is an offence punishable by the law In Nigeria. According to the criminal code, an offence is defined as, an act or omission which renders the person doing the act or making the omission liable to punishment under the criminal code or under any act or law The criminal code also explained that there are three types of offences namely felonies, misdemeanors, and simple offences.
A felony is any offence which is declared by the law to be a felony or is punishable without proof of previous conviction, with death or imprisonment for three or more years.
A misdemeanor is any offence which is declared by the law to be a misdemeanor or is punishable by imprisonment for not less than six months, but less than three years, while all offences other than felonies and misdemeanors are simple offences.
In section 218 of the criminal code seriatim, unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl under the age of thirteen is a felony which is liable to imprisonment for life with or without whipping.
Having established the fact that rape is an offence punishable by the Nigerian law earlier, it should be observed that before justice can be served on the assailant, the victim must be able to prove beyond reasonable doubt that not only was she raped, but she was raped by the accused person
.
In other to meet up with this demand, the victim must have enough evidence to prove that there was carnal knowledge or penetration, and that it was done without her consent or with the use of force.
The Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English defines evidence as facts or observations presented in support of an assertion while Faith O Osadolor Esq. in the Source Book on the Law and Practice of Evidence in Nigeria explains the following:
“Evidence is the existence of facts required for the proof of an issue”
Osadolor further stated that a person cannot be convicted for the following offences, listed in section 218,221,223, or 224 of the criminal code upon t uncorroborated testimony of one witness.
First of all it is most unlikely that a rape incident would have a witness as rape is a personal attack on the victim and sexual activities are not usually done in public to the glare of witnesses, therefore, if the law states that the accused person cannot be convicted without the testimony of at least one witness, that shows that the law is unwilling to prosecute the accused person.
Secondly, section 218 of the criminal code also states that prosecution for a person who has unlawful carnal knowledge of a person under the age of thirteen or attempted to do so must be begun within two months after the offence has been committed. In some cases, the victims might not come out on time to seek justice as a result of the fear of stigmatization. What this section of the law means is that anyone who wishes to raise a case against her assailant has an ultimatum of doing so within the space of two months or have a case as serious as rape flung out of the law courts because the case was not filed as early as possible.
What if a person was assaulted at childhood and then decides to get justice after attaining adulthood? The Nigerian justice system states that such an individual cannot get justice because so many years have passed by. Is it ever too late to get justice? No matter the crime?
Section 221 states that a person who, knowing a woman or girl to be an idiot or imbecile, has or attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of her is guilty of misdemeanor and is liable to imprisonment for two years with or without whipping.
It will be observed that this section of the criminal code has drawn a divide between the rape of a normal woman and the rape of a mentally challenged person. rape has one and the same meaning for both the mentally stable and mentally challenged, it means defilement. It should be viewed as a more serious crime when it is done to a person who is mentally challenged because then, the act will be a calculated and well planned attack on the victim who is viewed as being unable to report the offence. In this case, two years imprisonment seems too little a price to pay for someone who meted out such a heinous crime on a fellow human being.
This is not to say that some of the victims have not come up with evidences like torn under-wears, bruises to establish the fact that the intercourse was not consentual or even evidence that semen or other male fluids where found on the woman at the time the accusations were made.
But then, how can it be proven that the bruises were inflicted on the woman by that particular man or that the semen or body fluids found on the woman was actually from the accused?
There are not many hospitals that are involved in DNA testing in Nigeria. Even at that, how long will it take for a DNA test to be carried out, to prove that the assailant is actually guilty of the crime? More so, a victim who does not have the funds to go the extra mile will have no other option but to have the case dropped for lack of evidence.
SOLUTION AND RECOMENDATION
Clauses that tend to protect the assailants should be removed from the criminal code. For example, a rape case does not require a witness before it can be considered. This is because, rape incidents hardly have witnesses and the absence of a witness would mean that the victim has been denied a fair judgment. The criminal code also states that prosecution can only take place if the victim does not have questionable character. This means that the law does not believe a prostitute can be raped. This goes contrary to the aspect which states that rape takes place if a person has unlawful carnal knowledge of a woman without her consent. In a case where the prostitute does not grant consent to the accused, it is believed that rape has taken place, so why will the law deny such a woman from getting justice on the grounds that she is a prostitute?
Okonkwo and Naish also explained that it is no excuse that the person is a common prostitute or a concubine to the accused, as long as there was no consent, the incident can be regarded as rape and therefore should be treated as such.
Secondly, I would suggest that all rape cases should be given a general sentence, which is life imprisonment, regardless of the mental status of the victim as the after effects of rape affect both the mentally stable and the mentally handicapped.
Thirdly, marital rape should be given recognition in the Nigerian justice system because, rape also occurs between spouses and a situation where such is only regarded as assault not do justice to the fact that the woman was actually raped.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, rape is a deadly crime committed against a woman, it has often times led to suicide or diseases that eventually lead to death. Rape is an incident that robs its victims of all forms of dignity and a reason for existence yet the justice system in Nigeria has been set up in such a way that it is almost impossible for the victim to get justice. For this reason, many rape cases go unreported and the victims who still believe in the justice system of Nigeria will have nothing but stigmatization as a reward the justice system in Nigeria has to be seriously reviewed regarding the way it treats rape cases as more criminals will continue to perpetuate such acts, knowing that there will be no punishment for them. Rape should be strongly fought and not encouraged. There should be some form of succour for the victim, as the judiciary is the last hope of the common man.
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